What Are Cognitive Distortions?

You’re being human.

In therapy, we often call these patterns cognitive distortions. That sounds technical, but all it really means is habits of thinking that tend to be negatively biased or inaccurate. They usually develop for understandable reasons, and they’re incredibly common.

The goal isn’t to get rid of these thoughts or replace them with forced positivity. Instead, we work toward seeing them more clearly, so they have less power over how we feel and act.

What Are Cognitive Distortions?

Cognitive distortions are automatic thought patterns that can quietly shape how we interpret ourselves, others, and the world. Over time, they can contribute to anxiety, low mood, self‑doubt, and relationship stress.

What makes them tricky is that they often:

• Feel believable in the moment
• Show up quickly, without effort
• Sound like facts rather than interpretations

With practice, however, we can learn to notice them with more curiosity and less self‑criticism.

Below are 10 common cognitive distortions, explained in a way I often use in sessions.

10 Common Cognitive Distortions

1. All‑or‑Nothing Thinking

Seeing things in extremes, with no middle ground.

Words like always, never, or every time are common clues.

Example: Forgetting to return one call and deciding, “I’m a bad friend.”

2. Overgeneralization

Drawing a broad conclusion based on a single experience.

Example: Feeling awkward at one social event and deciding, “I’m bad at social situations.”

3. Mental Filter

Focusing on one negative detail while filtering out everything else.

Example: Receiving thoughtful feedback but staying fixated on one small criticism.

4. Disqualifying the Positive

Discounting good experiences or strengths as “luck” or flukes.

Example: Getting praised at work and thinking, “They’re just being nice.”

5. Jumping to Conclusions

Assuming you know what others are thinking or predicting negative outcomes—without clear evidence.

• Mind reading: “They must be annoyed with me.”
• Fortune telling: “This will probably go badly.”

6. Magnification and Minimization

Blowing mistakes out of proportion—or shrinking successes until they barely count.

Example: Ruminating for days over a small slip‑up while brushing off genuine accomplishments.

7. Emotional Reasoning

Believing that if something feels true, it must be true.

Example: “I feel disconnected, so this relationship must be failing.”

8. “Should” Statements

Holding yourself or others to rigid rules about how things should be.

These often come with pressure, guilt, or resentment—and are usually learned early.

Example: “I should be doing better by now.”

9. Labeling

Reducing yourself (or others) to a single negative trait.

Example: Making a mistake and thinking, “I’m incompetent.”

10. Personalization

Taking responsibility for things that aren’t actually yours to carry.

Example: Assuming a conversation went awkwardly because of you, without considering other factors.

Why Awareness Matters More Than “Fixing” Thoughts

One of the most helpful shifts I see in therapy is when clients stop trying to argue with their thoughts—and start noticing them instead.

We don’t aim to replace distorted thoughts with “better” ones right away. We aim to:

• Slow the process down
• Create space between you and the thought
• Ask, “Is this the only possible interpretation?”

Even a small pause can reduce the emotional intensity that comes with these patterns.

A More Compassionate Way Forward

Cognitive distortions often develop as attempts to protect us, keeping us alert, prepared, or avoiding disappointment. When we respond to them with curiosity rather than judgment, they tend to loosen their grip.

If you notice these patterns showing up frequently, therapy can be a space to explore where they come from, what they’re trying to do for you, and how to relate to them differently.

If this resonated with you and you’d like to explore these themes more, you’re welcome to reach out. You can connect with me here.