Do you find it challenging to communicate your needs? The acronym DEAR MAN offers the components of assertive communication which can help you practice this skill.
What is assertive communication?
Assertiveness is a communication style in which you can express your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and opinions with openness while respecting other people’s rights and boundaries.
Benefits
- Increase of self esteem
- Ability to care for yourself and your relationships
- Increase of getting your needs met
- Increase in connection and understanding in relationships
What is DEAR MAN?
DEAR MAN is one of Dialectical Behavior Therapy’s interpersonal effectiveness skills which was developed to help communicate in a more assertive way. Below are a few tips when practicing assertiveness:
- Be clear about your goals for assertiveness
- Consider your needs
- Be direct
- Be mindful of the timing of your request
- Assume that others do not know what you need
- Keep in mind that assertiveness helps communicate our needs but does not guarantee that they will be met.
What does DEAR MAN stand for?
Describe
Describe the facts of the situation related to your request without judgment or blame. This will allow to orient the person who the request is for. Keep the description short and objective.
Express
Express your feelings and opinions related to the situation to provide context. Using “I” statements will reduce the possibility of defensiveness.
Assert
Be clear when expressing your request or when saying no. Be clear, concise, and specific.
Reward
Reinforce your message by expressing the positive consequences or gains for meeting your request.
Mindful
Remain aware and focused on your goals when communicating your request.
Appear Confident
Be mindful of your body language, tone, and volume of your voice.
Negotiate
Be flexible when it benefits the situation and relationship.
I hope this blog was able to shed some light on the importance of assertive communication and DEAR MAN as a tool to help achieve it. By practicing DEAR MAN, you can build strong relationships and become a more confident and successful communicator.
Useful Links
1.DBT Technique: DEAR MAN: https://youtu.be/EC-M59r-0jg
2. Marshall B. Rosenberg: https://www.cnvc.org/marshall-rosenberg
Free Virtual Consultation
Therapy can be a safe space to work on having a more mindful approach our inner experience. If this post resonated, and you find that cognitive distortions are affecting your well-being feel free to reach out to schedule a FREE consultation.
