Are you looking to better understand your own boundaries? Being aware and communicating them can be important for your wellbeing. This article will share 4 common boundaries to consider.
What Are Boundaries?
How are boundaries defined? Boundaries are limits that you create for yourself. Boundaries define what feels comfortable, healthy, and safe for you. They can help shape our relationships by defining permissible ways for other people to behave around you and how you will respond when someone steps outside those limits.
You may find that boundaries can be fluid and flexible depending on context and the people involved. Below are 4 common boundaries to consider.
4 Boundaries to Consider:
Physical Boundaries
Include your body, sense of personal space, sexual orientation, and privacy. These boundaries are expressed through clothing, shelter, noise tolerance, verbal instruction, and body language.
Emotional and Intellectual Boundaries
These boundaries protect your sense of self-esteem and ability to separate your feelings from others’. You have the right to be protective of your emotions and remove yourself from people or situations that repeatedly and intentionally cause emotional distress.
Material boundaries
Refer to money and possessions. Healthy material boundaries involve setting limits on what you will share, and with whom.
Time boundaries
Refer to how a person uses their time. You have the right to set aside enough time for various facets of their lives such as work, relationships, and hobbies. Time boundaries are violated when another person demands too much of another’s time.
In Summary
Setting boundaries help you honor your needs and protect what you would like to invest your time and energy in. Although there is oftentimes the desire to set boundaries, it is common to feel a lack of confidence when communicating boundaries.
Often, there is a false belief about personal needs being “selfish” or you may have felt discouraged or even punished for setting boundaries in the past. Whatever your barrier to setting boundaries, know that you are not alone!
Becoming more aware of our boundaries can take self-exploration and communicating is a skill that will get easier with practice.
Questions to reflect on
- What were you taught about boundaries growing up?
- What emotions do you notice when setting boundaries?
- What boundaries would you like to be different in your life?
- What boundaries are easier for you to honor? Which ones feel most complicated?
- How do you feel about acknowledging and communicating boundaries to yourself and others?
- What have you noticed gets in the way of setting boundaries?
If you need a safe space to explore, define and learn how to communicate your boundaries, therapy may be an important first step. Feel free to schedule a free 30 mins consultation.
Useful Links
- Compassionate Boundaries: How to Say No with Heart: https://www.mindful.org/compassionate-boundaries-say-no-heart/
- Boundaries: A guide to Making Life Decisions: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-zen/201906/boundaries-guide-making-essential-life-decisions
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Therapy can be a safe space to work on having a more mindful approach our inner experience. If this post resonated, and you find that cognitive distortions are affecting your well-being feel free to reach out to schedule a FREE consultation.
