Does your mind tend to take you to the extremes? Dialectics can help you think in a more flexible way.
What are dialectics?
Dialectics relates to considering things from multiple perspectives.
- It is the synthesis or balance of opposites.
- Encourages thinking in a more flexible, less binary.
- Moves away from all or nothing, good or bad, black or white types of thinking.
- Encourages exploration middle-ground, and a reality where opposites can exist.
For example
- You can be happy to return home from a trip AND be sad that the vacation is ending.
- You can love your partner AND feel frustrated about their behavior.
- You can feel gratitude AND want things to improve.
Practices
- Flexibility
- Practice noticing what is happening in your environment, or in your mind without reacting impulsively or ineffectively. As thoughts and feelings arise, you may notice stress, painful memories, or inner criticisms. Instead of trying to ignore or push these experiences away, try letting them move past you like water off a duck’s back, or clouds in the sky.
- Reminder
- Remind yourself that there are no absolute truths.
- Compassion
- It is easy to believe that someone is behaving in a way that we judge as “bad”,” mean” etc. When these judgements come up, practice compassion by imagining what circumstances could lead to the persons behavior. You may want to consider what struggles they may be going through and gently, kindly acknowledge that as humans, we sometimes act inconsistent with our values.
- Exception rule
- Think back and notice what helpful behaviors you were engaging in when life was better. If you think they can be beneficial today, commit to apply these habits flexibly.
- Noticing opportunities
- There is a tendency to notice the negative aspects of a situation. When faced with challenging situations, ask yourself if there are any opportunities are offered. What skills can you practice? What strengths can you use?
- Accept Opposites
- Practice noticing opposite opinions and considering how both can be true.
Useful Links
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy – https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/
- 20 DBT Worksheets and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills – https://positivepsychology.com/dbt-dialectical-behavior-therapy/
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Therapy can be a safe space to work on having a more mindful approach our inner experience. If this post resonated, and you find that cognitive distortions are affecting your well-being feel free to reach out to schedule a FREE consultation.
